1. an awkward, usually unintentional dive in which the front of the body strikes the water horizontally, the abdomen or chestbearing the brunt of the impact.
Most of you know that I am doing Teach for America, and that currently, I am training in Philadelphia. Our training, also known as "Institute," adheres to the sink or swim method. Who learns how to swim faster (albeit not necessarily more gracefully); the tossed-in-the-deep-end novice or the shallow-end, arm-floaties expert? It's efficient, however, thoroughly uncomfortable. And it's the scariest and most difficult deep-end I have ever jumped into. And I jumped in head-first and landed unintentional-bellyflop style via one of those... "Let me show you my expert dive even though I have never tried diving before." AKA: blind ambition. Did I mention it's thoroughly uncomfortable?
Yet despite my extremely reasonable, well thought-out, and totally applicable metaphor, inner-voice Taelor is still extremely judgmental of recently tossed-in-the-deep-end Miss Russell. In the past two weeks, I have yet to make it through twenty-four hours where I haven't seriously debated if I am capable of providing my students with the education they deserve. The love I have for them already, and the
I am not perfect, but I have blind ambition. I am not perfect, but I have the audacity to overcome the seemingly impossible. I am not perfect, but I do all of this for my students. I am not perfect, but I need to and I will struggle more than I have to in my life so that my students can struggle less in theirs.
I may currently have a very painful, very red belly. And I may be exhausted from thrashing about. And I
might will be every single day. But the one thing I refuse to do, even though I'm not a deep-end expert, is play it selfishly safe in the shallow end. Why? Because my students did not get that choice; because my students don't swim in a pool with a shallow end.
“Growth is possible only if there is imperfection. I would like you to remember again and again, I am imperfect, the whole universe is imperfect, and to love this imperfection, to rejoice in this imperfection is my whole message.”