About Me

My photo
Boston, Massachusetts, United States
Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. Shel Silverstein

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I just got home from a wonderful dinner/ discussion with my boss and his wife. Side note: I couldn't be more blessed to have them as mentors in my life. (That rhymed!) Anyways, we were on the topic of romantic relationships and also friendships and Kirk (boss) used the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) as the model upon which we should all follow in all our relationships. I could go into a huge long description and analysis but instead, I will keep it short.

1. We can't be the younger brother who believes that love must be earned through action.
2. We can't be the older brother who expects love despite our shortcomings.
3. We must strive to be the father who loves unconditionally (through grace) despite how the love is returned and let that unconditional love be what motivates others to reciprocate their love to you rather than your own expectations and demands.

This is difficult because:
1. As humans, our first instinct is to be selfish and make it our priority to get what we feel like we deserve before we give back.
2. It makes our hearts vulnerable to give away love knowing that we may not get it in return.
3. Even though we may start loving "unconditionally," its difficult to not get bitter or upset when loving "unconditionally" doesn't provide us with the results we expected

To succeed we must:
1. Stay focused on God through the process since he of course is our ultimate model. We must pray for the ability to give grace which takes patience. It also means that we must rely on the perfect love of God and not our own. We must see the person we are in relationship with (familial, friendly, or romantic) through the eyes of God rather than through our own flawed vision.
2. Trust the other person with our hearts. We can only do this adequately if we are in constant communication and focus on God because that feeds our faith. A strong faith in God is vital to trust others with our heart because with that faith, we can have total comfort that God will protect it no matter how the other person treats it.
3. Realize that all epically wonderfully things in this world come with difficultly. You have to work really hard at it and endure hard times. That's why relationships are a commitment, a commitment to unconditionally love the other person even and especially through the hard times. That's what makes it so beautiful.

Let WIKIHOW teach you how to love! It actually speaks some good advice :)

Love is both an action and a feeling. The action of love generates a blissful feeling called by the same name. When the action stops, the blissful feeling is replaced with pain. Every person is capable of great love (and its opposite, fear, which generates all painful emotions such as hate, greed and jealousy).

I greatly appreciate that WIKIHOW defines the opposite of Love not as Hate, but as Fear. This is so true because everything that prevents you from completely and totally unconditionally loving another person through grace is the fear that you will get hurt in the process. If you trust the other person with the power given to you through your faith in God's protection, then fear is absolutely unnecessary and subsequently also anxiety and jealousy. (The things I struggle with the most)

I feel like sometimes we (or maybe just me) read bible verses about how we should love one another and think "yes, I should be loved that way" and whenever I don't get loved that way (due to my own inability to practice what the verses say), I get upset and hurt and feel like I am not being loved the way I deserve. Instead, I should read the verses and only be concerned about applying them to how I love others. How others should love me should never be of concern. The question should be "How can I love better?" instead of "How can I be loved better?"

Here are three of many many verses I personally need to start reading with that first question in mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:9-12

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3


Over and Out

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Okay so I know that I haven't blogged.. in SO LONG. Butttt I decided to tonight :)

As those who have seen me in the past week know.. I chopped off ALL of my hair. I have always wanted to do it and almost did it my junior year of high school but I couldn't go all the way and ended up with an awkward cut that just was a pain in the but to make look cute. I have had everyone ask me why I did it and I haven't really come up with a good answer but I guess I can try a little harder..

I saw the movie "Wall Street" staring Carey Mulligan and her WONDERFUL haircut brought back all my pent up desires for short hair.

and then it should grow out into something a little like...

I didn't really tell anyone or ask anyone's opinion before I did it. I just made the decision, talked to one or two people, and got it cut that day. Its been a whole week and I am still adjusting to it and I haven't even cried once about it. Most girls cry when they cut off their hair, and I usually do to.

1. A lot of change has revealed itself in my life lately and a physical change to represent that seemed appropriate as well.
2. I feel like I am really starting to find out who I am as a person and even though I don't necessarily think that the "newly found me" can only exist with short hair, but changing it so drastically did serve to push me out of the comfort zone of my previously unsure self.
3. I wanted to see if I could pull it off.
4. I seem to always want to cut my hair once it gets to be pretty long. I guess its just angst.
5. Long hair is "sexy" and "sexy" makes me uncomfortable.. I much much much prefer cute.
6. This is really the last time in my life that I can pull off this short of hair. I want my hair to be really long when I get married and its going to take me at least 2 years to get my hair back to where it was.. (1 year back to my collarbone) And not that I am planning to be married by then necessarily, but that's the age when it is possible.
7. I want to build my self-esteem based on who I am, not on what I look like. I hid behind my hair, and clothes, and makeup to make myself feel comfortable with who I am and stripping myself of one of those elements will definitely push me to rely on my character.
8. I have been trying really hard to not live in fear, especially silly fear.. like what people think. Should I cut my hair, something I have always wanted to do? No? Because some people might not like it? That's ridiculous number one because its for me, not for them and number two, the people I want to surround myself with will love me for who I am and not what my hair looks like. And number three, it might just look fabulous!

1. I haven't seen my natural hair color since 7th grade and now its back!
2. I LOVE growing my hair out... until it gets long
3. All the above under "Reasons"
4. I feel more.. chic?
5. I am more unique appearance wise
6. SO easy to do. My "get ready" time was more than halved
7. My hair doesn't get wet when I get in the hot tub

1. The attention. Everyone commenting on it and asking me questions is only natural but it makes me so nervous. The first few days after I got it cut, I was so anxious to leave my apartment, not because I didn't like it or want people to see it, but because I knew it would cause a lot of commotion. But it has died down a lot
2. I look silly when I wake up in the morning. I have never really experienced "bed head" until now. I have learned how to manage it though with headbands. Which brings me to...
3. Until I get 100% used to it, I am going to undoubtedly feel a little less feminine when I look in the mirror based solely on the fact that I haven't adjusted to it yet. So until then, I have found a whole new appreciation for headbands. I LOVE them.
4. I can no longer get away with not wearing makeup or cute clothes, BUT I am sure once I get used to it short, that I won't necessarily feel that way anymore.
5. The fake "it looks so good!" I know that some people genuinely love it but I also know that a huge change like that is a shock for a while and you can't love it until after that shock period is over. I understand that they are just trying to be sweet and I definitely appreciate it but I also know that a lot of people don't like short hair. I knew that when I got the hair cut and I am not going to assume that everyone is going to love it. I know some people will hate it. JUST BE HONEST.. nicely :)
6. Despite loving the change and excited about having fun with short hair, just knowing how long it will take to make it long again is overwhelming.
7. It's taking a while to learn the best way to style it.

Oh. and PS: The new Taylor Swift Album "Speak Now" is. so. awesome.

over and out

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let
God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.
Then you will learn to know
God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
Romans 12:2