Fresh Start

I decided to go back and read my blog entries from when I was a senior in high school. During the process of reading the posts prior to this one, I realized how much I have given up since then. I used to read a new book every few days; I kept a journal of every quote in those books that inspired me. I used that inspiration to write poems, create art, and just think on a deeper level than I do now. College is so much more exhausting than I ever thought it could be. If I am not in class, doing homework, or working, I am sleeping or something equally idle because my brain just hurts. I so desperately want to be true to myself and delve back into everything I am so passionate about. I so desperately want to chase Jesus as hard as I possibly can but I feel like I am simply stuck. I feel like I am angry with school for consuming me and holding me back; I am angry with my education, something I am usually so incredibly passionate about. I need inspiration and I can feel Jesus trying to inspire me. Its time for me to just let go and stop trying to be in control of my life. Its time to let Jesus take over. Let Him heat back up the passion in my heart that has somehow chilled to room temperature in the past year and a half. Its time to let go of my anxieties, my worries, my plans for.. well everything. If I have learned anything, even in the past week, is that the life you plan for yourself, is almost never the life Jesus has in mind. He will flip everything completely upside down with the most seemingly inconvenient timing ever. But, it was perfect timing; I was comfortable being mediocre and that is simply not okay. Where I am going, I have no idea, but I know its somewhere great.


Matthew 6:31-34 (The Message)

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

over and out

Mock Trial.

Sick

I feel sick.

Reasons Why You Are Just So Awesome.

Your outfits are Brought to You By: Gossip Girl

You utilize your facebook status as a hope of impressing, despite your own inability to define your nonsense

You make derogatory words part of your common vocabulary so it doesn’t hurt when they are commonly used to describe you

You omit the last syllable of adjectives for absolutely no reason.

When searching for your soul mate, you must emphasize that they Must Love: v-necks”
See also: neon and black flannel shirts
See also: cigarettes
See also: wayfares
See also: Radiohead
See also: you

Your love for obscure words
Cretinous isn’t the right word, but it’s the first one that comes to mind.

Your obsession with all things nostalgic, that you never experienced the first time around.

Your need to cut your hair to be different, like everyone else.

Your metallic/neon/patterned Nikes that somehow complete every outfit you own.

Your love of generic hip-hop SOLELY for its “phat” beat

Your box of last year’s clothes carefully stored for when your personality is sick of following current trends

You can accurately spell the words you looked up in preparation for our conversation.

You can’t remember the name of your favorite band
See also: their songs

Your unpredictable style consisting solely of cardigans, scarves, tights, boots, and skinny jeans.

You claim every trend you follow was IN FACT initiated by you.

You discovered every single underground band EVER

Your need to express yourself.
If by yourself, you mean artsy intellectuals
See also: not you

Your inability to realize that I am referencing you.

Re-read until you come to the conclusion that you yourself must recreate your own version, saying exactly what I said.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Thank you.
Thank you for Jesus.
Thank you for the world.
Thank you for my parents.
Thank you for my brothers.
Thank you for my boyfriend.
Thank you for my best friend.
Thank you for all of my supporters.
Thank you for my education.
Thank you for my ability to smile everyday.
Thank you for all my unspoken blessings.
and most of all:
Thank you for letting me touch the hearts of those closest to me.

Love,
Taelor

Paper and Ribbons

Three days until Christmas. I work at a toy store, so that means knowing the ins and outs of exactly what children from the ages of 6 months to 13 years old want, are getting, and what wrapping paper will conceal them. I have wrapped and will continue to wrap endless gifts, acting as an elf of sorts. What I want for Christmas can't be concealed in festive painted papers. As my life prepares for a major shift within the next few months, I hope that the happiness and peace that I possess right now will remain. I am overwhelmed with anxiety, not just to find out which school I will be attending, but rather how changing everything I have known and had my entire life will affect me. Off to wrap presents for children who are in the comfort of their youth..

overandout.

Good Morning

Debate Practice at 7:00 am. It is currently 5:23 am. Ridiculous.

over and out.