About Me

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Boston, Massachusetts, United States
Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. Shel Silverstein

Monday, May 16, 2011

Real Beauty

I want to talk about beauty for a little bit, and I want to be totally transparent and honest as I do so. I have struggled my whole life with seeing myself as something beautiful that God created and truly worthy of the word "beautiful". I have gone from eating my insecurities, to starving myself in the name of eliminating the insecurity. I've had people criticize me for not being thin enough, and many many people criticize me for being too thin. I've had mild to moderate acne my whole life, never enough to take drastic measures, but enough to not remember a single day when I was zit free. I've been a health freak vegetarian that works out, to a lazy, eat whatever is cheapest kind of girl. I also have a really bad habit of chopping every last inch of my hair off, which definitely has not aided me in my desire to feel feminine and pretty. And although I have put myself through all this for most of my life, it breaks my heart every time I see another absolutely beautiful girl treating herself as if she isn't inherently beautiful, as if she has a million and one things to prove until she deserves "beautiful".

What do you think makes someone beautiful?

At the risk of sounding totally cliche, I think beauty is a heart issue. Loving yourself is beauty. When you love yourself, you love others better. When you love yourself, you can love others simply to love them, instead of loving them so you can get some love back. When you love yourself, you want to treat your body well by eating healthy (both food and the amount of food) and being active. When you love yourself, you want to treat your skin well, keeping it clean and well moisturized. Beauty doesn't come in the form of makeup, hair colors and styles, the size and shape of your clothes, and definitely not in a lack of clothes. Because none of those things are showcasing you as the beautiful person that you are. When you love yourself, you want to do things that make you happy, which leads you to being passionate about something, which makes you beautiful. Your passions are outlets to utilize the characteristics that are beautiful about you. Loving yourself gives you absolutely no excuse to be mean to others. Loving yourself motivates and empowers you to help others love themselves. That is what makes someone beautiful.

When do you feel most beautiful?
I feel the most beautiful whenever I am doing something I am passionate about. Be it painting, doing photography, reading or really enjoying my education, or simply living missionally for God. Whenever I am doing something that I love, that I can accomplish to the best of my ability, with my whole heart, I see the purpose God has for my life. I see the reasons why He created me, and that makes me feel like the beautiful hands of God that I am. That we all are.

How do you deal with the pressure for body perfection in our culture?
This is something I have struggled with a lot. As I discussed earlier, I went from being slightly bigger than other girls my age at the beginning of highschool, to being way too much smaller than other girls my age, to finding my healthy weight and struggling to be happy with that. I also find myself trying to use clothes, makeup, and my hair to feel beautiful and that simply doesn't work. Cute clothes are only fun to wear whenever I am comfortable with my body. Makeup is only fun and expressive whenever I am comfortable in my skin (otherwise it just feels like something I am hiding behind instead of shining through), and new hairstyles aren't a fun change whenever you aren't confident in yourself. Seeking perfection only makes you miserable and leaves you feeling inadequate. Loving yourself for who you are makes you feel beyond worthy of "beautiful".

If you could give your younger self advice about beauty, what would it be?
Stop caring what everyone else thinks; stop seeking acceptance from everyone else; treat yourself with all the respect, care, and love that everyone deserves..even you. Don't seek happiness by pleasing others; make yourself truly happy by doing the things you are passionate about.

What’s your one, can’t-live-without-it beauty product?
Hmmmm, mascara. Coats and coats of mascara.

Who is your beauty role model?
My boyfriend. Because on those days whenever I let self degradation take over and convince me that my physical flaws deem me unworthy, he holds my hands and looks into my eyes and tells me I am the most beautiful person in the world. He reminds me of the true reasons why I am beautiful.

over and out.

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